Third day, it feels like it's been a whole year without him. Everywhere i go, everything i see reminds me of him. How can someone love a person this much. A soda "awh he loves Dr. Pepper" a notebook "awh he loved when i would write to him and his notebook" a car "he wants a car for his bday" the list goes on and on. Yesterday I realized something i should have realized a long time ago. He's the one, the ONLY one who will ever make me happy. I know that for a fact. He has done a lot to hurt me and i admit it, but it doesn't mean he has in any way ruined my life. He poured his heart out to me, he opened up and i was there every step of the way. I've been at peace today, God is working with me. Last night I broke before him, and i prayed "God, whatever you need to do please do it now. It hurts" I set everything aside, EVERYTHING and i am focused on pulling closer to God. Cause honestly what can i do without him? If i leave it all up to myself i'm pretty much screwed. I also realized the beauty of a mans stubbornes. A man can be so stubborn in loving God and saying "God i won't let go" he can be so stubborn in loving his girl and say "That's the girl God gave me and i am not letting go" but then there's the man who does not yet know how to use his stubborness and says "God I can do this alone, i don't need you" but that man will break. Here's my prayer today...
"Dear God almighty, I want to thank you for everything you have done in my life, because i know everything is for a purpose. I ask you heal my broken heart and for you to transform it into something no one will be able to break. God I ask you for him as well. I know i'm not the only one here hurting so i ask you give him strength and wisdom in every one of his choices. I ask you protect him in everything he does. I love him so much and you know i do. Everything is now in your hands. In the name of the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit...Amen"
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