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I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you.
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you

Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
'les I feel you next to me
you take the pain I feel.
waking up to you never felt so real.
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real

Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

Breathing life
Waking up
My eyes open up

Comatose
I’ll never wake up without an overdose of you!
Oh how I adore you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I thirst for you
Waking up to you never felt so real
Oh how I adore you, ohhhh
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real 

Better than drugs

Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
Calm the ache, stop the shakes
You clear my mind
You're my escape
From this messed up place
'Cause you let me forget
You numb my pain

How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me

You're better than drugs
your love is like wine
Feel you comin' on so fast
Feel you comin' to get me high
You're better than drugs
Addicted for life
Feel you comin' on so fast
Feel you comin' on to get me high

Feel you when I'm restless
Feel you when I cannot cope
You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote
You kill the poison
Ease the suffering
Calm the rage when I'm afraid
To feel again

How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me



Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
You're the strength of my life


Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights..
Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you come to get me high..

My heart still beats for you.

I miss your eyes, your lips, your laugh, your arms, your hands. I miss you! I miss your love, your care, your understanding, your friendship, your humor. I miss you! I miss your kiss, your hug, how you held me, even the wrestling. I MISS YOU. This time away is healthy for both of us and we know it is. But when the time comes that you forget me and get over me, I don't want to be here and watch. Because I know for a fact I won't be over you. It's funny how happy we make each other, and how miserable we are far apart. Well at least I am. I don't want to be here when you move on. When you love another. When she becomes "The prettiest" all it would do is kill me inside. I would have to keep going. What if I leave and our love grows? I ask God for that every night. If it doesn't happen, then you weren't for me, if it does...then, again, I will be the happiest girl walking on this earth. All i'm scared of is that i'll leave and if i come back things will be different, that I won't be the one. I'm not keeping my hopes up, what ever happens, happens. If it's heartbreaking i'll have to deal with it. If it's happy again, then I want nothing else than to be in your arms again.

Walking alone, away..forever.

I thought we would walk hand in hand forever. I thought we would go through any obstacle without letting go. I thought our love would be stronger than anything else in this world. I thought that love would take us to places we've never been before. I thought we belonged together. I was wrong. I now see what it really is. Giving up on the best thing in your life, or so i thought. I walk alone, I walk away, I won't turn back. My heart breaks, my heart tears and I can no longer hear it's song. The song that played "I love you" has lost it's meaning. It has walked away. So now it's my turn. I walk away, I won't turn back. I walk away, I won't turn back. I walk away, I won't turn back. It still makes no sense. I don't want to, but I have to. I'm broken, but my appearance seems fixed. I'm sad, but my appearance seems happy. I'm lost...my appearance seems found. How can one person possibly make me have all these feelings. I want to hug you and never let go, but I want to run away from you and never turn back. Run after me and tell me it will be okay. I want to look into your eyes once again and tell you how much you mean to me, but I want to look away and never look back.  Turn my face and tell me it will be okay. I want to hold your hand and take care of you with my life, but I want to let go and get used to walking alone. Hold my hand, never let go and tell me it will be okay. That will never happen, that's why...I walk away, I won't turn back.

Praise to the one who gives and takes away!

I'm thankful, because by having Jesus I have it all. I feel kinda weird right now. Something is wrong i can feel it. I talked to him today and earlier i was just broken again, but i dropped to my knees and thanked the Lord. Then like an hour ago we talked again. I miss him, alot, but God is doing his thing. I'll always keep him in my prayers and I know God will find his way to his heart. He's gonna work on both of us individually. When He transforms him, i want to be the first to know. Even though I won't be here anymore I will be so proud!

May 18.

As days go by I become stronger and stronger. I become a better person, but you...you're showing me the total opposite. I woke up this morning with the regret of alot of things, so much. I don't understand why you tried for me if in the end you would just want to regret everything. But you know what, that teaches me a whole lot from you; you see me as an enemy when enemy's are all around you, i was actually your friend and like you said your "Best friend" i never did a thing to hurt you or cause you pain. I know you will have alot to say, but you know what? You know what things you say are true and what are lies. As of now i move on! Mark my words I WILL FORGET YOU, and when I do I will never turn back. To think you were everything to me and i loved you with all my heart, you made feelings come and now you're making them go away. I will keep praying for you but as of today you're in Gods hands, no longer in my thoughts. I've reached my point and whatever you do, is all on you. I WILL resist any temptation to talk to you or think about you. And when I leave, you're gonna miss me, cause there will never be a girl who will love you and care for you as much as I did, that I assure you. As of May 18, you will lose me COMPLETELY. It's not a see you later, it's a good bye.

Sometimes you just need to let go and let God!

Well it's been 5 days, and i'm doing better than before. As days pass i do miss him more and more, but the weird thing is that sometimes i will miss only his friendship and other times i will miss his love. When i'm excited and sooo happy I want to tell him what's going on and i just want to share that moment. When i'm sad or scared i miss his arms holding me telling me he loves me, only me. I know he will most likely start hanging out with people that made me uncomfortable, but the thing is...i don't feel that so much anymore. I just hope i'm wrong about those people, cause if they hurt him in any way I will go out of MY way. I do think about him a lot, but now i'm learning to keep myself busy and just not think. I'm glad to say I think about God most of the time now. Then i'll start praying for him. I wonder if he realizes how much i loved him. But i've let go now, it's in Gods hands. He'll set everything straight and i pray He finds his way into his heart. "Goodnight babe, i love you" I've let go, i'm letting God!